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Ep 16: Can Social Media Affect Your Self Worth?

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“Don’t tie your self-worth in with how many ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ you have.”

— Amber Dee

Do you ever get slightly jealous when you look at someone’s social media page and see that they have more followers than you?

It’s natural to feel this way. Actually, there’s a term for it in psychology and they call it the Social Comparison Theory . It states that “we determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others we perceive as somehow faring better or worse.”

Social media is great in that it keeps us so closely connected to our friends, family, and offers us many business opportunities — always staying up to date with what everyone is up to. 

But the detrimental side of it occurs when we constantly compare ourselves to others on there, even stacking ourselves up to complete strangers.

We compare ourselves to others as a way of fostering self-improvement or self-motivation. But it can also promote judgmental, biased and overly competitive or superior attitudes that in the long-term can be detrimental to your mental health, ultimately affecting your performance.

I sat down with Amber Dee, Founder of Black Female Therapists database, to discuss the side effects — good and bad— of constantly comparing ourselves to others on social media.

The bottom-line is to not tie your self-worth into how many followers and likes you get.

Just because someone has a lot of followers and “likes” on Instagram doesn’t necessarily mean they’re making any real money.


  • What metrics really matter in determining someone’s success on social media
  • How people can buy “followers” and “likes” on social media
  • How to improve your online engagement
  • How we can avoid the comparison paralysis with others online and keep yourself in check

Resources Mentioned:

  • Iconosquare: Track your social media engagement and compare to others’
  • DSM 5: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Connect with Amber:

about helen ngo

Helen Ngo, CFP® is a financial empowerment coach dedicated to helping women entrepreneurs own their worth, flip their money scripts, and smash every ceiling on their way up. The Self-Made CEO®, founder, featured speaker, and host of the Live & Earn podcast has unlocked the key to financial freedom that most people get wrong.

Use this simple, uncomplicated planner I created to help you stay on top of your money and create predictability in your business.